okay...really

Love to keep track of life
ha ha ha
that of course will only ever be a joke
love the moment by moment unknowns
well...sometimes
love these sweet super cute love songs
mood music
smiles light love peace joy and wonder
always in this moment
letting it all go
picking it back up again
just to remember to let it go
ohhh the sweetness of it all
thanks for the thoughts
thanks for whatever
xxxxxx
and so it is
so it was
so it shall ever be
one nowness always!

i'm not looking for anything. i just want to write and this mind is just going going and going and well if i could/would just slow down...center center.
took nice bath and shower and am ready for some good music and great sleep.

ramblin down this road called life

Wow...it's been a while, but i want to write fast or type fast as the situation stands.
there is so much on my mind, but when i look to see all the things i'm doing, there really is just not much reason. i'm only doing 3 things right now. Wow! it just hit me....looking around my desk here....my papers are all strung out. clothes are still not put away from about 4 days ago and basically there is just a whole lot of non order. The bed it make, though. and very nicely if i do say so myself.
the biggest struggle has been getting back on a regular meditation routine. sure...i'll meditate somehow everyday, but not at a regular time and, well....maybe for just 15 min if i'm going to completely honest.
it just feel good to type and process all this. writting in my journal these days almost seems like a struggle. i just can't seem to get all the words out fast enough.
am very much looking forward to moving, though as i looked around last night, realized i'm not quite set up to just move out quite yet. and that is okay...as long as i don't keep myself here much longer. moments even arise where the thought comes to just stay till after india, but...in all honesty....hmmmmm.....maybe i'll just go to india! noooo...that is not happening, but i hadn't even thought of that as an option before.
am looking forward to the wedding and seeing the bride and holding the ring and doing whatever else i can do. just can't imagine and give her huge props for moving and wedding and everything else.
well....i can see the first task of the morning is to be organize and file all papers and clothes and then see what fun other stuff needs to go where.
i've been asking for a lot of help and guidance from my spiritual guides and angels these days. they do so much and work so hard and i'm trying not to to think that i'm missing somthing; like a clue or a tool or a point to this incarnation.
work with kids. that's all i got. and that is something. and something great at that!
so really once i get the pranic healing dvd promotional done and sent out and the wedding...i could just take off till thanksgiving. but where would i go? i don't even know where am going to stay when visiting fairfield. all always works out and that's really not an issue per se.
okay...organize.
ohhh yeah!!!!! oh gooood! can do something today, other than just organize and clean and dress up and give out halloween candy! find all the information needed to get italian citizenship! sweet!
breath sam, breath....enjoy life.
i am enjoying life, just not this feeling of being lazy and stuff.

so greatful for flower essenses today.

went off on sister earlier. she's been quiet and non mean for the rest of the day.

woke up in a silent bubble. am greatful for all the healing taking place in my life right now.

am looking forward to this new life transition.

moving on from united. furloughs go through sept 1st.

now to get working with youth and helping them out.

ohhh i have so much to learn. may i learn it with love and grace.

please be easy on my world. i'm soooo sensative these days.

am trying to work out these knots that have been created. they were like my stress mechanism.

and now they are unwinding, this world i've put myself in seems so much meaner.

ohhh that i might be a beam of light and love and not so overly sensative to take it on.

love love love

am looking at prices for moving out and moving on.

get in a healthier environment.

it's good for me to hear all these people make excuses about the pain in there life....

it makes me want to yell "empower yourself! stop playing a victim!" i can only do this now, because i have been them. i say have been, as in past tense, because i don't want to have it continue to be my present reality.

love love love

so i've found the ring i want to get.

no not a wedding ring. those kind of things don't even really run through my mind hardly ever.

anyways... it's really pretty and kind of a deal, because i've never really bought a nice ring before. it's not the diamond pinky ring(which will still get one day soon) it's a surprise and once i get it, i'll share it with the world.

haven't even been journaling all that much lately. i keep speaking the travel bug i had is gone, but everytime i'm "home" for a couple days i want to run and go back to my cave. only i really don't have a cave to run to. so instead i stay up late and wake up late as a way to escape. night time is a different place and world for me i guese.

hmmmmm.......

been listening to beatles song, oh my love.

am in a warm fuzzy, i want a boyfriend to snuggle up to mode.

maybe when i stop listening to this song this feeling will pass.

it's a great song, just too short in my opinion.

smiles always

contemplating romantic love

such a sweet moment, but never sad once it's passed.

mmmm.......

cleaning house or email as it is

wow! wow! wow!
after a nap and a couple hours of email clearing and organizing, things seem more clear.
my hotmail email was able to get to empty, gmail to all organized, and yahoo deleted and organized through all emails.
Friend was saying something about organizing and after a second run in with my english bank acount, i decided having so many of everything, in so many places, coming from everywhere was just not a great idea. what do i mean??? and understand am still organizing and cutting back....3 credit union accounts 3 savings 2 checking, 2 bank accounts w/ 3 checking and 2 saving, 2 credit cards, 3 loans from 3 places....paychecks, auto debits, and such and well....i was bound to consolidate at somepoint.
solution??? working on it. i like them all for different reasons. ohh am getting a financial accountability consultant
thats all on the home front
blessings and peace out

something to write about

so just realized something great about moving....all the random stuff from childhood that had forgotten about. the random stuff no one would think of keeping if you passed away. ohh i won't keep you in suspense any longer. so what was found; about 10 postcards of travels to sacramento taken at age 12. both 7th and 8th grade class pictures and my first or second team basketball pic from when my dad was coach. i was age 8 or 9. ohh also my kindergarden class picture. which randomly does have one girl in it who just invited me as a friend on facebook. she officially is the longest know person i've kept in touch with. good times! really this is great! it's been a bit of a time getting all this moving stuff together.
since have lost my phone also lost all friends birthday info, so am searching these facts out now.
other than that am a bit on the sleepy side and do work tomorow. yeah!!!
love and love and love