Thursday, 28 January 2010

stress release

so i know it's my own stuff coming to the surface. but that doesn't make it any easier!
am staying at my friends, who is very direct and in my opinion does not use sweet loving-kindness communication. and we have the dogs/kids right now and though i could just leave the house to avoid them. i do not feel like i need to leave the comfort of the computer and books, just because the dogs are annoying. (did i mention i stepped in a big puddle of pee earlier? Yeah! with my slippers on. which i need to where so all my socks don't get totaly gross. now i can sweet and clean the floors everyday, but the socks, somehow miraculously keep getting gross. i'm talking sticky brown to black and even after to you wash them, the remnants still remain. i guese there is something to say about wearing black socks;)
and yes...i am her guest, so what place to i have to say anything? it doesn't seem apropriate and nice. and in all honesty i'm just in a bit of a mood right now.
so i've just started to cook regularly and i have to say, one of the worst things you can do to me is not appriciate the food. rather...she says, "if had garlic it would be good." not..."yeah this is good and what could make it even better might be to add some garlic." compliment me! encourage me! justify my cooking!
our normal habit is to just go eat out 2 meals a day average $14 a meal. seriously! i created and encouraged this habit because i was only ever here for 3 days and was brought out to eat usually at least once in those three days. and then she gets upset when i keep pointed out the price! well yeahhhhhhhh! my budget is 1/20th(and although this is temporary it's still what i see at this moment) of yours and i have to be aware of this and since we are splitting the bill.... okay on her defense i was mentioning it every meal.
so now i am practicing cooking, but am realizing with the food she eats twice as much as i normally do and somehow is like half my size.
also i haven't been able to get a good workout in days. monday we went to kick boxing and i'm just glad i didn't start crying. seriously.
sorry to whomever reads this. i needed to vent. and other than the dogs continually ruffing at me, am feeling much release.
love love love

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