So basically just got another " get your dukkha(shit)" together talk.
Maybe this one was differently put accross, but it felt okay to be told it again.
Because ya know what!? I want to get it together. I don't want to pay 40 or 50 or any money unessisarily. i value my money and my time. and if that means knowing and being conscious of the details always. then so be it.
Things always do work out, but if the dukkha keeeps coming, maybe you need to be the one to work it out. or at least work with universe to get em worked out.
And yes, you kind of are in a few differnt worlds all the time right now, so be in the world you are in at each moment, and......the others..... this is where it has gotten tricky for me. am in lets say 3 places constantly. UK, US, and somewhere in the ethers. the ethers is my favorite, but not much place or need for anything but what it is. now the UK there's a new account and new currency and new pay and new language and new times for business' closing and new phone and new options. Kind of like an infant, needs a lot of support and nurturing. Lets say it's almost a toddler, not talking much yet, but running and getting into everything. It needs a bit of learning, maybe the building of a foundation. and the US there's still US bills and loans and student loans, and am sure there is other US things where am still in teenager years. so lets move from US teen to UK adult? NO! tried that. didn't work for me.
It's funny when the thought came today that i really may need to get a 2nd job in UK. It was okay. and ideas of where to work started running through my head. Because if i'm going to stay here past June a suplemental income is going to have to happen. And i can still travel once a month for a 3 day short trip to paris or amsterdam or something. The fact that i can even say things like that is so amazing.
Oh and when get a 2nd job it can pay for a gym membership, because that's how i like to get exercise and can be regular come rain or shine. and getting upset about how tight the pants are getting....don't get upset, get a job and pay for a gym membership. eating less....really don't eat that much. rice and beans and tea.
really am working on getting a business going here, but there again one of those detail things. right now don't even have a good way to call US that won't cost $2 a min. am looking into skype options. So lets not just start looking into them, lets make these things happen. Lets stop having $80 spending days and wasting time.
This is your life. Put a value to it!
This must be added too, though. One of the greatest reasons i think this whole pep talk worked is because of all the nurturing and support from listening and comforting friends. Not trying to give advise or say do this or that, because mostly...don't ever really like like. And a real special thanks to my mom, your words have been more of a comfort these last weeks then anything else.