have a bit of a fear that will not be able to really reflect the love that i am.
really don't mean for this to sound strange at all, it's just talking w/ ashley my emotional body gets all frustrated and my reaction toward his thoughts and words are not always the most supportive and understanding. it reminds me of my mom. and then when i talk to my mom on the phone all i can hear 98% of the time is here pain body. and all can think is it's my own issue. but really am just not able to keep my own presence and go to that space of love and light. today is just kind of one of those days. haven't meditated yet and it's already 7:30 at night. the sun never came up today. and it seems almost so strange that the thought of moving back to parents place is a serious thought for me. because everytime i talk to my parents the thought comes up how gratful i am that am not around that much. can already see reflection of their relationship in how i handle my own relationships. and it's not always the nicest and most compasionate. almost like, i don't agree with you so i won't say anything at all, just because i don't want to say something apposing and argumentative. this is not all the relationships, but it has become a sort of theme at times.
anyways am happy for this joyful spirit filled holiday.
light love and peace on earth