dnf= did not fly

maybe i should look at this DVF in a growth sort of way. or maybe a vedanta sort of way. DNF's in my flight attendant world are basically the worst thing you can get as a flight attendant. and this morning i got one. they gave me the san fran trip, which i knew was going to get. they called at 3:30, but the phone never rang. they try to call a couple times, but still the phone never rang. so samantha woke up at 8:30 thinking they really should be giving me the trip by now, but.... DNF! so instead of composing my emotions, i cried and cried and cried and fought it out to get it oked, but due to the other 2#'s dialed,(which i knew wouldn't work, but they never needed to in the past, because my UK cell phone always rings). well as a growth thing, am now going to go talk to the people who i have service with and see about them writting something for work. how silly... a note for work. i heard myself running up the stairs yelling(in a whisper) "it's not my fault!" even at the moment of saying it, i could fill how much power i gave another over my situation. so i take that comment back. of course there is always something i could have done different, and for a next time experience(so there won't be a next time) am topping up on the emergency UK phone#, talking to the cell phone provider, and maybe getting a skype # that will ring to my phone. Don't if could get the 3rd one to work. but also...maybe i'll be at the top of the list next days available, so the next time will get a really good trip and will be ready for it. and on a bright side, since did freak out and call work right when it happened, already got to talk with my supervisor.

then there's the vedanta approach, it is not good or bad. it's just what happened in that moment. and now, this is what is happening in this moment. do not be attached to this illusionary thought. you get to go to san fran, you get a DNF it's all the same. one without a second.

though i'd like to take on the vedanta approach, there's still the thought to take care that it won't happen again. karma really isn't an issue w/ vedanta philosophy. so if i wasn't going that route, would have to say, this was just some karma i needed to work out. but even writting such a phrase seems so fake.

anyways...bodys still just calming down. am going to go for a walk, and make this an amazing beautiful day! because growth process or vedanta, life is what it is and plays as it plays.